Monday, January 6, 2014

Hoping for Hope

As this year has started I have had to force myself to make positive and hopeful goals.  Usually at the beginning of every year I would think, 'Maybe this is the year we'll have a baby.'  But, this year, since I know we are having and losing our little girl. . .its definitely made it harder to hope for much after we have Anneliese.

I found it hard to get excited for 2014....because quite frankly 2013 was a REALLY hard year, and if I'm losing a child to kick off this year, how in the world is 2014 going to be any better?!  I noticed that all of my hopes were on things I had absolutely no control over.  I can't change Anneliese's diagnosis, I can't change how soon I can get pregnant again after having her, and I can't change the fact that 2014 will end and Jillsie still won't have a sibling here with her.

So, this year we are hoping for hope!  We are focusing on the things we CAN control.  Doing fun projects, growing closer to each other and our Heavenly Father, making fun vacation plans for the future, and trusting that we CAN get through this trial stronger than we were before.  We can't change the past, and we can't control much of the future. . . But we can control how we act and grow through this experience.  So we are hoping for hope this year!

5 comments:

  1. We are hoping for hope for you as well. You are truly amazing.

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    1. Thanks for everything!!! Can't express it enough!

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  2. Hi Heidi. I have been so touched by your sweet spirit as I read your blog today. Thanks for sharing! I will be sure to remember you and your beautiful family in my prayers. We were blessed with our very own anencephaly angel last March, our precious little baby Gabe, and our lives have been forever changed because of him. Sending lots of hope your way! ~Angela

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    1. Thanks Angela! It's so nice hearing from others who have experienced similar heartache and usually accompanying that the pure sweetness of having these sweet babies in our lives!! Thank you!!

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  3. I will pray for you to have an amazing year full of hope. Words can't describe my gratitude for your perspective on how to refocus your goals and hopes to things you can control; this is something I needed to do. Thank you for the kick in the pants to have a better attitude in dealing with my challenges.

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