Thursday, January 30, 2014

Anneliese...she is real.

As the days have gone on, I feel like I have had to remind myself over and over that I did have another little girl.  The ache in my arms and heart seem to be so overwhelming at times that I feel as if I'm losing my mind. And then I say quietly to myself, 'I had a little girl, her name is Anneliese, she needed a body, and is now with Our Heavenly Father.'  The joy and peace spreads inside me-sometimes in a wave that is all encompassing and other times it spreads slowly and I know that I can make it through that moment because of the love from our Heavenly Father! She came and went so quickly.  Jake and I felt like we had just gotten used to the fact that we wouldn't have her with us for long that it's been hard to realize it's all over...that she was real, that I actually held her, that she is ours forever. It wasn't a dream.  She is real!  Happy 1st week in Heaven Anneliese!


  1. Oh Heidi...this is so beautiful. She was so, so real, and her influence is as well. I was thinking of her and you all day today. What a special little gift she is to all of us!

  2. Dear Heidi, you never cease to amaze me!! Your baby girl is beautiful. My heart aches for you and your family and you've been in my prayers and thoughts constantly. Can I share something with you? I've been mulling this over in my head for a few days, and I just want to tell you! I'm teaching the YW about the Plan of Salvation tomorrow, and it's been on my mind a lot as I've been reading and planning for the lesson. When I read about the birth of your sweet Anneliese I was so excited for you that you got to hold her for so long, and see her; I was so sad for you, too. Then I had a thought. I remembered that sometimes Heavenly Father puts people in our lives at certain moments because we were friends in heaven before we came here (ps, I totally feel that's why we were roomies as scared freshman!!!!). I thought of you and your sweet Jake in heaven (totally Saturday's Warrior style, but less 90's) together and being asked to go through hard things. I thought that maybe you said yes to this hard thing because you knew then, like you know now, that you'd be with your baby again, that she would be yours forever. I've been so inspired by your testimony, by your strength--even when I'm sure you don't want to be strong and even when I'm sure it feels all backwards and dizzying. You're such an anchor. I hope I can teach these girls tomorrow that the things that happen here on earth impact us forever. But also that what happened before we came here impacts us now. I think Heavenly Father chose you to be Anneliese's mom because He knew your testimony would always be strong. You're amazing Heidi. I love and admire you so much. You have a beautiful family. Thank you for sharing!!
    (this might not be appropriate, but I can't not add in clickity clickity...especially since it is now midnight! love you!!)